Neurologically-Disrupted Composition: A self-case study on navigating the compositional process with a neurological disorder
It is estimated that around 100,000 people in the UK, and up to 500,000 people in the US, suffer from Functional Neurological Disorder (FND) – a neurological condition caused by a problem with the functioning of the nervous system. FND can cause a huge variety of symptoms including: functional seizures; mobility and balance issues; functional paralysis and limb weakness; speech problems; involuntary movements; and cognitive difficulties. Although people with FND do not necessarily encounter every potential symptom, a large proportion do suffer from memory issues, including brain fog, memory loss, and dissociative amnesia.
Unfortunately, there is no data to suggest how many people with FND are working in creative industries, such as composition. However, with more than 1 in 3 people experiencing a neurological condition worldwide, and many of these disorders affecting memory, it is likely that a significant number of people working in a creative industry are affected by issues with their memory. Although various research has been undertaken surrounding the role of memory in creative processes (such as an article by Mathias Benedek et al, titled “The role of memory in creative ideation” which was published in Nature in 2023) – as well as a multitude of research surrounding memory difficulties in Functional Neurological Disorder – there appears to be a current gap in research which analyses the impact of memory loss on compositional practice.
Through a self-case study, as well as interviews and analysis of related research, this paper investigates the impact of functional memory loss and dissociative amnesia on the contemporary compositional process. By first exploring (via interviews and survey) how contemporary composers who do not have a neurological disorder engage with memory in their practice, I will identify the key stages of the compositional process that rely heavily upon memory. I will then engage with published research surrounding functional memory loss and dissociative amnesia caused by Functional Neurological Disorder, and highlight the aspects most pertinent to the cognitive skills utilised in composition. In the self-case study, I will then review my own compositional practice and highlight how memory issues, caused by my diagnosis of Functional Neurological Disorder, affect my composition process. I will subsequently discuss the various adaptations I have integrated into my practice in the attempt to mitigate this impact, and evaluate the success of these adaptations. Finally, I will emphasise the importance of this research and advocate for further research in this area. Future research may include exploring the transferability of the successful adaptation methods to other creative art forms, or investigating the impact of memory issues stemming from other neurological conditions.
Keywords: memory, neuroscience, compositional process
Biography
Rachel Sullivan is a composer and practice-researcher of New Music. Her compositions frequently explore prepared and modified instruments, interdisciplinarity, and performativity. Her current research interests include community engagement, the process of composition, and exploring the intersections between music and medicine. She has received numerous commissions, most recently receiving the Kimie Composition Prize 2025, securing her a commission for Live Music Now Scotland. Her chamber opera Bertha will premiere in the summer of 2025. Rachel’s music has been performed internationally, including as the soundtrack to a theatre production currently touring France. As a Master’s student of composition at The Royal Conservatoire of Scotland, Rachel is exploring various compositional interests while further developing her research skills.
Royal Conservatoire of Scotland, United Kingdom – rachelsullivanmusic@gmail.com